Saturday, August 23, 2008


My passion, besides my Jesus and my children, is scrapbooking. And I don't mean the fru-fru stuff where every page takes 6 hours of crafting to complete and has 3 pictures and 2 words. No, I'm far too frugal with my time and money for that. The scrapbooking that I enjoy is simple story telling with lots pictures added. When my children look at my books I want them to remember the stories and details that the pictures don't show and to SEE and KNOW how God worked in our lives in the process of our experiences.

I spent last night and the better part of today "cropping". I had many pages that I had put together but not taken the time to journal, so that was my project. Journalling requires a certain mood and atmosphere for me, and yesterday with the weight of my niece's situation weighing heavily on my mind, I just wasn't in the mindset to jouranal my wedding or family album. I kept telling myself to buck up and not cry, but it just wasn't working.

One of my girlfriends offered to pray for me, and the other agreed. So they prayed. They had no clue what was on my mind, they just prayed simple prayers that God would give me his peace and that I could focus on the joy of my albums for the time, that Jesus would take my burden on himself. I could almost physically feel the weight lift from my shoulders and heart. Thank you Jesus.

I did tell them after, and we talked. We each have been through losses. We cried together and talked about the Lord's precious healing and how he draws us to Him in times of pain and sorrow, when we need Him most.

I had a wonderful time. I finished my project in a good frame of mind and with much joy looking over my niece as a 4 year old flower girl and reliving the birth of my 4th child through the pages I journalled. I'm more thankful today for the blessings I've been given than I was just yesterday. And God is still God and He cares for me enough to carry my burdens when I turn to Him.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Trisomy 18 and Thankfulness

My mind has been filled recently with thoughts of my niece. She's 21 and pregnant with her second son. He was diagnosed last week with trisomy 18 and has 0% chance of survival. To say that I'm sad for her is an understatement. I have been through many years of infertility and have lost 3 babies of my own to early miscarriages, so life, especially unborn life, is SO precious to me. And that my dear niece has to face something so big at such a tender age just makes me ache. I pray that she comes through this stronger and closer to God and that in some miraculous way she comes away from this heartache with something positive to hold onto even though there is nothing positive about saying goodbye to a tiny baby. I am also praying that she will have the opportunity to hold her baby while he is alive, even if just for a few minutes, so she can tell him how much she loves him.

Other thoughts? I love my kids. I am thankful that I have to clean up after them. Thankful that I have to do ever increasing amounts of laundry. I'm thankful for throw up, poop, and toilets filled to overflowing with tp. I'm thankful for marker stains on my carpet, chocolate chips spilled on the floor, and handprints on my walls and windows. Because all these things mean that I have kids living and growing in my house. I do not know how long God has ordained for them to walk this earth, so I will be thankful for every moment and appreciate what I've been given, even the unpleasant.