Monday, December 13, 2010

For a Limited Time Only.

I'm going to take a moment and be very vulnerable here. This is hard for me to share because, well, it just is. Money is tight right now, real tight. All the bills are paid, but there's nothing left, tight. And truly, there is no money for Christmas this year. There was no money last year either, but Todd's very generous parents helped us out tremendously. But we just don't feel we can ask again. We are facing a loss of my income at the beginning of 2011, which frankly scares me more than I can admit. When that fear strikes I immediately run to the Lord and ask Him to provide. And He always has. Today I believe he put this idea in my head. So, here goes:

From now until December 23, I will be offering a fabulous cake for purchase suggested donation.

A homemade, from scratch 4 layer, 8-inch round, chocolate ganache-filled cake with cream cheese frosting. It will look like the cake above with red and green decoration and either say "Merry Christmas!" or have only the swirly decorations. It will serve up to 16 people.

I guarantee it will be delicious. People who have tasted it say they would pay up to $60 for one. But I will be offering it for the pre-paid suggested donation of $40. (the ingredients alone cost $15) Call me, E-mail me, Facebook me or leave a comment here if you'd like to order one for your holiday gathering. Tell me how many you want, what date you will need it on, and whether you want it to say Merry Christmas or not. Be sure to leave your phone number so we can discuss delivery or pick-up of your cake. This is for local friends and family only, sorry I cannot deliver outside the metro Denver area.

Oh, and please spread the word.

My sweet friend, Nancy, who lives on the other side of the country from me decided she wants to donate a cake to someone in Denver. What an incredibly generous notion! I will find a family in need to give a cake to, a double blessing! So, if you live outside the Denver area and want to donate a cake to someone in need then go for it!


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Happy Heaven Day Daddy!

Today we marked 5 years since my Dad went home to be with Jesus. It seems like just yesterday I talked to him on the phone, and it seems like an eternity since I heard his voice. The {unlaundered} shirt of his, that I took home from my step-mom after the funeral, no longer smells of him, it just smells dusty. I used to bury my face in that shirt everyday, it was like getting a hug from him. I miss him. And so, I am reposting this story of him from 2 years ago.

The Blessing.

In loving memory of Niles Edward Haworth, Jr.
5/10/41 - 12/12/05

Years ago my father read the book, "The Blessing" by John Trent and Gary Smalley. I knew it effected his life, but not until [5] years ago today did I realize how much.

On this date, December 12, 2005 my father suddenly, unexpectedly died. He was out doing yard work and getting his garage ready to make wooden puzzles for his 3 new grandchildren. His wife called him at 5 o'clock to tell him she would be home shortly. He told her he wanted to quickly finish what he was doing before it got too cold. Less than 10 minutes later when she pulled around the corner to their home she saw him sprawled out on the driveway. She ran to him and tried to rouse him, but he breathed about 3 more times and was gone.

Earlier that summer, Dad had told me that he had a spiritual connection to his wife. Each morning when she was getting ready for work, he said, he slept right through, but when she pulled the door closed he instantly woke. He said it was like his spirit knew she had departed the house.

I believe that his spirit waited to depart his body until his wife was present.

That morning he had called my sister, more than half the nation away. She had recently had a baby and he hadn't yet seen pictures. He spent more than an hour on the phone with her talking and looking at pictures of his newborn grandson online.

The week before his death he was coming home from where he worked in Branson, Missouri and he made a point to stop by each of his aging relatives' homes, including his father, "because you never know when you won't see them again." He had stopped and talked with each one and taken pictures.

Three days before he died, he called me. At the time our family was living in Manila, Philippines. I remember distinctly that we talked, he talked to each of the children and after that he got back on the line with me. He told me he loved me. He told me he was proud of me and the way I was raising my family. And we said goodbye, like the kind of goodbye when you'll talk again next week or tomorrow if you want.

In that conversation my dad gave me "The Blessing". He had no way of knowing what was to come. There were no signs, no illness. But he made sure I knew of his love. And in that he could not have given me a better gift. For the rest of my life I will carry around the blessing he gave me. He could very well have left me wondering. He could very well have left things unsaid. He could have left me with the burden of past hurts. But, he chose, consciously, to bless me. What a precious gift that is to me.

My dad was not the perfect father, far from it. His faults and mistakes far outweighed his good points, and he had accepted that. But in the last years he strove to be better, do better, and love more. And he lived those years making ready for a day he knew would come but didn't know when. At the very end of his life he succeeded. He went out with a blessing and I am sure he received his blessing from Jesus Himself when he heard Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Thank you Dad for loving me, and telling me so. I will try to give the same blessing to my children. I miss you and your long, boring, corny jokes. I miss talking to you each week. I love you. Hug Jesus for me, and my babies. Love, Karina


Thursday, December 9, 2010


I'm extremely shy. If you know me you might think this statement is ludicrous. I assure you it is not. Talking to people I don't know scares the pants off me. I have to psyche myself up to make phone calls about anything, insurance, repairs, even ordering things over the phone.

I describe myself as a dichotomy. And it's probably the best word I have ever come across to describe me. I'm extremely shy, and I'm very social. I love interacting with people, friends, loved ones, people I know and know well. But occasionally I get caught in a situation where I want to know the people I'm with better but I really don't know them well now. If I let my shyness rule, I would never get to know them, because, well, people who don't talk to other people don't get to know them or be known. Funny how that works, huh? To compensate for my shyness I try to remove my social filters. The trick is knowing how much filter to remove. It's a fine line between being charming and obnoxious. I rarely strike the balance there, much to my chagrin. Yes, when I try to put my shyness away it usually means I will be just a little bit over the edge into the land of obnoxious, not horrible but there!

My five year old son, Kevin, is just the opposite. Kevin does not have a shy bone in his body, not one. He has never met a stranger. It does not bother him in the least to order food for himself, or have a chat with anyone nearby, anywhere. He can did walk up to a homeless man in a wheelchair, grab the armrests and demand, "What's your name?" and moments later grabbed the poor man's stump and demanded to know how his leg broke off and if it happened today! In this, I recognize myself. Kevin has no social filters. No boundaries. There is no question too personal to ask. There is no subject too delicate to broach. In a five year old that quality can be endearing (to someone who loves and understands children), or it can be hugely annoying. It's not really that far off from my Mrs. Shy-awkwardness-trying-to-be-social-butterfly.

We may be opposites, but my dear son and I must both learn some better social skills!


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Some Thoughts on Sin.

I spent a good portion of my day wrestling with sin yesterday. Yes, yes, I did. It was all in my head, but understand that Jesus said that if you even think about sin, it's as if you've already committed it in your heart [Karina paraphrase]. That's rough. But it's so true.

As humans, our tendency is to hide sin, and when we are found out to blame anyone else we can, even God. That's exactly what Adam and Eve did in the garden. First they hid from God. Then, when God confronted them, Adam blamed Eve and he blamed God for giving him Eve! Eve turned around and blamed the serpent. Later in Genesis, Abraham lies about Sarah being his sister, when confronted by Abimelek he makes all kinds of excuses, including "I was scared because God sent me on this journey."

I made all kinds of excuses in my head yesterday, even talking to God about my sin I wanted to blame Him. But James is very clear, "When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." (James 1:13-15)

It's hard to read that verse and not be confronted with the Truth of it. Yes, my sin was born of my own evil desires. My evil desires dragged my mind away from the truth about my life and marriage and gave birth to sin in my heart. Does it matter that it was only in my head? No. It was sin. And that kind of sin in my head can SO easily turn into sin in my flesh, putting my wants and desires above all else is dangerous on every level.

The worst thing you can do with sin... hide it. Let me tell you, it's really easy to hide the kind of sin I wrestled with yesterday, after all it was my own private thoughts. It's easy to convince yourself that it can't hurt anyone else. But it can, it does, it did. What's going on in my head makes me treat others differently. It makes me do stupid stuff, like fight with my husband, or covet something that isn't mine.

It seems lately that satan is really hitting hard on every front. Marriages are one of his biggest battle grounds. Marriage is God's allegory of the love between Jesus Christ and the Church. It isn't any wonder that he wants to destroy it. If satan can destroy the institution of marriage by destroying individual marriages, it will destroy not just something beautiful that God created to show His love for us, but he will take many souls in the process. The end of the battle is secure. God wins! But we aren't just fighting to survive. We are fighting to win. To win souls, that is. God would prefer that none perish. And that needs to be our goal too.

So for me, if I allow my sinful thoughts to eat away at, and erode the foundations of my marriage, I would lose something even more precious than my husband. I would lose the chance to live the allegory of Christ's love for His Church, for me. The only way to defeat sin is to confess it, which I did, both to God and to my husband (in a way that would not bring harm or hurt to him) The Truth is there is nothing wrong with my marriage. It's good. It's strong. We love each other, deeply. And by speaking that Truth, I can defeat the lies my own evil desires have created and on which the enemy has tried to capitalize.

Is my marriage perfect? Nope. Have my thoughts all been pure today? No. But, I have not wrestled with sin. I have taken each thought captive (2 Cor 10:5) and given it over to my heavenly Father, and told him that I do not want to go there. And He has been faithful to provide the strength I needed to stand up under the temptation I faced! (1 Cor 10:13)


Monday, December 6, 2010

Things Are Not Slowing Down.

Things are not slowing down anytime soon. Last week I was in rehearsals every night and stayed after rehearsals to help with the set. I spent my days homeschooling 4 boys.

This week I have several jobs to finish up at the teen drop-in center, Movement 5280. Homeschooling. Two concerts with the choir at assisted living facilities. Worship at Movement 5280 on Friday night, which will be a regular occurrence every couple of weeks from now on. Our annual Christmas tree hunt is coming up on Saturday, then we'll need to carve our time to decorate for the season, which also means cleaning house, a task that has long since fallen by the wayside.

This past weekend, in the midst of 4 performances of our Christmas musical I learned that a young friend of mine has been diagnosed with cancer. It sent me reeling. If this young woman who has a very healthy life-style can get cancer, then anyone can get it. There aren't any failsafes for avoiding it. I can already see God in the midst of her diagnosis, yet I still don't understand how or why.

Nevertheless, it's a reminder to enjoy the moments of life. I laid in bed last night, dog tired from lack of sleep and craziness, and listened to the sounds noise of my house. What I heard was the infectious laughter of my youngest giggling! I savored it. When we were helping friends move last night and the littles were being all kinds of mischievous, I gave them some cleaning wipes and set them to dust, and savored the cuteness of their 'helpfulness'! While my daughter pondered the unfairness of life, I savored holding her in my arms while we talked about it.

No matter how long I have left to live on this earth, I want to take every moment I can to appreciate what I've been given. Sure, I forget sometimes and let frustrations get the best of me. But as we pondered cancer this weekend in the midst of a busy schedule, that won't be slowing down anytime soon, the Holy Spirit helped me to remember to live in the moment.

And while I discussed my questions with my friend, she reminded me that God's ways are not our ways, and that this life is the little life. The big life is the one yet to come!


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Crazy Busy.

I enjoy times of crazy busy, as long as they don't last too long. I also enjoy times of peaceful serenity, but I wouldn't want them forever.

Life is an ebb and flow. I believe Jesus taught balance, in a 100% sold out kind of way. :)

For a few weeks we had crazy busy with Movement 5280. Then we had a holiday week, and we had a few activities, but also much time to relax and rest. This week is crazy again, with jumping back into homeschooling and rehearsals for our Christmas musical.

Finding time alone with God is a challenge, but essential. After all, what is the point of all the activities if I'm not connecting with the One whom it is all about? Point well taken, cuz I'm preaching to myself here. Got it.

So, I just thought I'd drop in and say, "Hi!"



Friday, November 26, 2010


Thanksgiving is officially over, though I haven't been to bed so it still 'feels' like Thanksgiving.

It was a lovely day! And I'm thankful for much. No. I'm thankful for all.

We spent the day as a family, beginning with 'snubble-time' at a leisurely hour of the morning! That was a treat, let me tell you! Breakfast (thanks to a late night of pie baking extravaganza) was in the crock pot ready to eat. Steel cut oats ala MckMama! I finished preparations on the side dishes I volunteered to bring to our friends' house later in the day, and off we went.

Movement 5280. It's a teen drop-in center that is opening soon where I have spent a good chunk of my time in recent weeks painting and decorating. Last week was our Open House. Today we had our first outreach to the community. We offered a Thanksgiving meal to anyone who wanted or needed food. All together we served 190 meals today, about 30 were people who came in to the center and the rest were delivered to a nearby park where many homeless and needy hang out.

I had the privilege of leading worship. It was quite impromptu and casual, but I realized today that I was completely at ease at the piano, singing. Me. Who just 9 short months ago nearly ran crying from the thought of playing the piano in public. Thank God! Besides my family and friends, this is probably the thing that I am most thankful for today; that God is healing me from the hurt and damage from my past, and giving me multiple opportunities to worship Him with the talents He has given me! It's HUGE!

Afterwords, it was home to grab the [oops!] burned dishes that I had tried to cook via oven timers. Thankfully (pun intended) we had time to remake the dishes before going to our friends' home for dinner!

We had a beautiful dinner with our friends, and spent time visiting and playing with them until nearly bedtime. Ahhhh. Not just full, but Thank-FULL!

Somewhere in our day we opened and read a letter from one of our sponsored children, Kipyegon. His letters always bring me to tears because they remind me just how richly blessed we are. It was a very fitting day to read his letter.

I also spent about an hour in the afternoon, while I waited for the second batch of sweet potatoes to cook, texting most of the friends in my cell phone to tell them how thankful I am for them!

**I may or may not get some pictures added to this post later today. We'll see.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Mind Boggling.

Did you know that God created light on the very first day of creation? (Genesis 1:3) But did you ever notice that God created the sun, moon, and stars on the fourth day? (Genesis 1:14)

What was the source of light the first 3 days of creation? Is that still the source of light, making the sun and stars be reflectors of light like the moon? Or did God put the light he created into the sun and stars? Or maybe he gathered up the light into the stars the same way he gathered the waters into oceans and seas.

If I think about this too long it becomes really mind boggling.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

Another Year Older.

I'd like to say that I'm 25 years old today. I'm not, but I'd like to say it. I'm 25 years old. There, I said it. It's a lie, but I only feel 25, so it's not a complete lie, right?

Actually, I'm blessed to have been given 41 years of life today. I don't exactly know how I got to be this old (old being a relative term). But I do know that the last year has probably been the best, and most certainly has been the most full of growth and personal change.

God has, more quickly than I could ever have imagined, been changing me, moving me, pushing me, stretching me, growing me, and drawing me into a deeper and deeper love for Him. The things that I have learned this year have brought me to a new awareness of who I am, who God is and the urgency to step outside myself and actually spread the Gospel of Jesus. And to mentor and encourage others to do the same.

It's the speed at which these changes have happened in me that compel me to believe that time truly is short. It's time to speak up. And, I don't mean politically. It's time to get out of our church pews, to live the life we say we believe and DO what Jesus commanded we do. It is not enough to love God. It is not enough to merely study His Word. For, if we love Him and hear His Word, then we must be compelled by that love and His words to do whatever is necessary to tell others. NOW!

I'm broken. I'm flawed. I'm selfish and prideful. I'm shy. Oh my word, am I shy! I'm a mess. A big mess. BUT, I love Jesus. More. Than. Anything. Even. Myself.

So, here it is...
God created us to love Him, to know Him. Man sinned, disobeyed God and our sin compels us to run and hide from God. So, God sent His son, Jesus, to take our sin and disobedience away, so that we can come to God, stop hiding and learn how much He loves us, and learn again how to love Him. All you have to do is believe this, and tell God that you want Jesus to take away your sin, and He will. And in place of your sin He will give you eternal life with Him. It's that simple, but it's not a decision to make lightly. God doesn't want just part of you, He wants all of you. Everything. Your earthly life in exchange for eternal life. Think about it.

So, happy birthday to me! And happy eternity to you!


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

About Faith.


Faith is not the absence of doubts, it's walking in obedience despite your doubts.

Faith is not the absence of doubts, but rather belief that God is big enough to fulfill His promises no matter what the obstacles.

Faith is not the absence of doubts, it's trusting in God's character despite physical circumstances.

And God is FAITHful!


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Is God Silent?

This topic has come up a couple of times recently. A man I was talking with told me that God is a quiet introvert. And studying Genesis this week there was a 13 year gap between the time that Abram had Ishmael and when God made the covenant with him, and revealed the time line of the birth of Isaac. It was assumed by the ladies in my Bible study that nothing happened in those 13 years.

I have trouble believing that God is a quiet introvert, or that he goes 13 years without speaking to a man who is the "father" of our faith. I just don't see it that way.

In my experience the silence of God is directly related to my obedience, or lack thereof. Or even my own lack of interest in pursuing a relationship with Him. But I have found that God is a constant presence in my life, and He consistently leads me on a daily basis when I seek Him. Yes, there are times when I ask for direction and don't feel I'm given a direct answer. And, I have found that when I don't seek God, he will not often speak to me, though that isn't always the case either. Most of the time we have a quiet, private interaction that doesn't rock the world or stop the presses. And then few and far between there are those extraordinary moments when God moves in my life in such a powerful, incredible way that it must be shared with others. I guess, that's how I see Abram's relationship with God. He was a righteous man, instead of assuming that God was silent those 13 years, I assume that Abram and God walked quietly and privately together daily.

I know the biggest time I felt God's silence was after a season of sin in my life, when I had hardened my heart and twisted God's truth to meet my own agenda. After that time I walked through a desert of silence. It was a consequence of my own making. Though I was forgiven of my sin immediately, I had so tuned out the voice of God during that season that I no longer knew how to hear His voice. It was not until my circumstances broke me and I began to cry out to God in a way I never had before that I once again began to recognize His voice, feel His presence and respond to His leading. My spiritual awakening took several years, but again, I don't think God was silent, it was me who couldn't hear Him.

Now, I am a nobody of Nobodies. And that's what causes me to pause at this concept. Why would God speak to me more than He spoke to Abram, THE Abram? The Answer? I don't think He did.

If you're reading this and have a relationship with God, does God talk to you daily or do you go years and years in silence between epic events?


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers....and Other Imaginary Characters.

We had a great time celebrating Halloween on Sunday. The weather was perfect. We carved pumpkins into some very unique Jack-O-Lanterns on Saturday night. We have fun with family and friends at the church "Trunk or Treat". We gathered and ate WAY too much candy. And we came home and crashed while our older kids had a bit more fun trick or treating in the neighborhood.

I was asked the other day by a young Christian whether it was glorifying to God to participate in Halloween. I don't really like Halloween or for what it traditionally stands. But I recently read a blog post here that both explains and helps me understand why I feel the freedom to dress in a costume, carve a pumpkin and go trick or treating with my kids. I want to bring glory to God. Our enemy does not deserve to have even one moment of the calendar or the days that my precious God has created. "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." Everyday. And I will not allow the enemy to claim it as his.

Yes, I will carve a pumpkin with each child. I will let it represent the uniqueness and creativity with which God has endowed each person. I will light a candle inside and let it represent the light of Christ in my heart that fills me and spills out into a cold, dark world through the unique design that is me. And I will find ways to turn the fun, harmless traditions of Halloween into things that represent and glorify God. And I will fight against any evil that tries to claim the day as it's own.

Friends join us as a welcome addition to the family!

Josh is carving his first pumpkin ever!

I help Luke and carve my little guys' chosen designs.

I love to see Todd helping, and we Skype in our depl*yed friend so he can watch his kids.

Heading to "trunk or treat"

Don't ask me how I got Todd into the parrot costume without a fuss!

Darth Maul.

I've seen a purple cow, but never a purple gorilla!

That's my "baby" and her friends.

Sunset on the Joker.

Todd's venture into the abstract! Surprisingly artistic!

My pumpkin spoke "Mickey Mouse" to me!

Our princess's princess.

Tadd's fire breathing dragon. Awesome design and execution!

Tim's great big happy face!

Kevin wanted Bat Man.

And Izaak wanted Superman! I absolutely had nothing to do with his choice!

All the Jack-o-lanterns at our house this year. Quite the sceen!


Thursday, October 28, 2010

On How God Can Use an M-16.

Say what?

Yes, I actually said that God can use an M-16!

I recently had a milit*ry friend who just left for training before being depl*yed. Somehow when he went to retrieve his gun it was lost. It took over an hour to find it and he was late too the airport. My friend was strangely calm during the chaos of his last hour with his wife, which she assures me is not normal for him!

When they finally arrived at the airport to check in there was a female s*ldier there, who was also having last minute problems getting her weapon checked in. My friend made his flight, but just barely. The other s*ldier missed hers.

Arriving at his destination for training, he found that his M-16 was once again MIA. He tried to track it down, but no one could "confirm or deny" that his weapon ever existed. So he sat down at the airport to wait.

Several hours later another flight arrived, and so did the missing M-16, and the other s*ldier, and her weapon. As she walked off the plane my friend noticed that she was covered in blood from her waist to her boots, and she was very unsteady, so he reached out to steady her. My friend loaded up all of their gear into a cab and took her to the ER. He spent the night and most of the next day in the hospital waiting for his fellow s*ldier, and when she was finally released they headed on to their training site.

On the surface you may think, "So what?" But if you think about it you start to realize that IF my friend's weapon hadn't been lost and caused a delay he would never have met the female s*ldier who missed her flight, much less known of her existence. And IF his weapon had not gotten lost a second time he would have gone on to training without ever seeing the female s*ldier arrive, much less being there to care for her. And then there's this itty bitty thing, IF the peace of God had not been present, my friend would have been uptight and irritated about the whole situation.

I just had to marvel that God can lose an M-16 to bring a situation together for the good of one of his children. And that His presence, in the midst of what would normally cause anxiety, can bring peace and patience. I have to marvel that God cares about each one of us so specifically to provide what each person needs.

It's incredible to me how God can use an M-16!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Righteousness Comes by Faith.

Abram believed the Lord, and He credited it to him as righteousness. Genesis 15:6

And interesting statement considering that there was no Jesus, no Savior at that time to bring about righteousness. But, consider this: Abram believed the words that God spoke to him. The spoken Word of God.

We now have the written Word of God, the Bible. The Bible is also known as the Truth. Truth with a capital T, meaning that it is the absolutely Truth, that there is no authority or truth greater than it.

We also understand that Jesus called himself the Truth (John 14:6). And, we understand that Jesus was the living Word of God (John 1:1)

So, whether we believe the spoken Word of God, the written Word of God or the living Word of God, if we believe, God credits it to us as righteousness.


Because, that is what God promised us. When you have faith to believe what God says, whether or not you can see it, touch it, or understand it, it restores your relationship with God. Because Jesus Christ is the Word of God and if we believe in him we will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Was Given a Vision

A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with a man about how he was struggling and angry at God, to the point where he was having trouble talking to God. I have been there. While it's not the most productive place to be, it's a real, honest place to be. I told this man I would pray for him.

I try never to tell someone I will pray for them unless I actually intend to pray for them. And so, in that moment I began to pray for him. I didn't really know what to pray because I don't know specifically with what he is struggling. The next day he was still on my mind, so I prayed the only thing I could think to pray, "Lord, how can I pray for him? I don't know what to pray, show me."

I was flat on my face in worship.

I was given a vision.

Karina, this is how I want you to pray...
I saw myself in the Throne Room of God, flat on my face before the Lord. Just me and God. He told me not to pray about this man. He told me not to pray for this man. He told me to pray AS this man. Pray the things that he cannot pray for himself. Worship me in his place. Praise me for him.

How can I, Lord? I do not know what is in his heart.

I will show you daughter. I will tell you what to pray. Listen to Me. And then, the words began to flow. The words from the Psalm that I am memorizing. Words I can only assume were needed by the man for whom I was attempting to pray.

I was given a vision.

I saw myself in the Throne Room of God, flat on my face before the Lord. The man stood behind me, unable to speak, and I prayed in his place. And this, the Lord said to me, this is intercession.

I was given a vision.

As I prayed I saw my Jesus standing before me. He was interceding for me. Praying what I could not pray. Speaking the words I didn't know to speak on behalf of my brother. Jesus, our intercessor.

I have prayed about hundreds of people. I have prayed for hundreds of people. But that day, on my face before God I learned what it means to intercede for someone. I learned how to be more like my Jesus. I cannot describe what God did in my heart over those couple of days. His presence was overwhelming. His mercy, boundless. His grace, fierce. His love, fathomless.

I was given a vision and I will never be the same.


Friday, October 15, 2010

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Remembering today not only my own 3 babies in heaven, Trista, Sam and David, but also remembering all the other mothers who have said goodbye to their babies sooner than expected.

Just to name a few:
Jami {Eisley}, Amber {Mason}, Laura {Pearl}, Angie {Audrey}, Kelly {Brooklyn}, Penny {Makenzie}, Nancy F. {Lucy & Georgia}, Amy, Jutta, Kimber, Barbara {Ali & Alana}, Nancy S. {Rylan's twin}, Laura {Sprout}, Lisa, CiJa {Carina, Noah}, Caley, Teresa {Noah}, and PamAg's neighbor.

Remembering that God had each day of the lives represented here numbered before the beginning of time. Each life had a purpose. Each life mattered. May God's purpose be accomplished through each life, and may we celebrate each day that the Lord gives us to live and breathe, worshiping and serving Him.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Smiles and laughter are this week's theme for RAW(e). Who wouldn't smile while playing in the rain, or laugh at seeing Josh get splashed!?!


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Sharing Grief.

This week has been a week of sharing the grief of others. While I am at a joyful, fulfilled place in my life right now, I am also sharing the burdens of my friends. I share them with you today so that you may also pray the name of Jesus over these dear ladies, that their hearts may be comforted. For it is those who know sorrow, grief and pain that can help shoulder the burden of such in the lives of others.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. ~1 Corinthians 1:3-7 NIV

These are the burdens I'm sharing:

Linny, at A Place Called Simplicity, has a dear family friend, "K", who is suffering in a situation that only God miraculously intervene to rescue her. Linny has the biggest heart I believe I've ever met.

Second is Jami who said goodbye to her precious, unborn daughter, Eisley, this week after a long battle to save her life.

And third, my friend, "C", who just a few weeks ago shared great excitement with me over expecting twins, and shared with me this morning that her twins also went to be with Jesus this week. Her second miscarriage this year.

Dear friends, I have grieved great loss nearly alone, and it is overwhelming. God didn't mean for us to suffer alone, isolated and imprisoned by our grief. He made us to share in suffering, because suffering together, sharing each others' burdens makes the burden lighter, life's blows softer, God's presence palpable.

You may not know these dear ladies, but you can pray the love of Jesus over them, pray His peace and share in their sufferings so that the comfort of Christ may flow over into their lives. God bless you, and if you have a burden that you would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment or to e-mail me. I will gladly pray over your burdens too.


Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Speak Peacock.

No really, I do! Not as well as my mother, but well enough to turn a peacock's head.

My mother grew up on a farm. They had peacocks. She learned how to mimic the sound close enough to fool a peacock. I learned this one day about 10 years ago when we were at a living history museum here in our city. They had peacocks and without warning my mother let loose with this horrendous, "HEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEELLLLLLLP!" I thought she had gone out of her ever-loving mind! Before I could say so, from the roof of an out building came a response, "HEEEEEEEE-EEEEEELLLLLLP!" My mother speaks peacock!

She gave me lessons. And now, much to the chagrin of my teen/tween children, I speak peacock!


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

RAW(e) - Snacktime

This is my first RAW(e) post. RAW(e) is a fun blog contest where participants post an unedited photo in line with the week's theme. The entries are judged by the previous week's winner. Here goes nothin'.


Wordless Wednesday - Feeling Lazy