Many things have happened in my life since I last blogged. Many things have been redefined in my heart, mind and life. Many things God is still redefining. Many things have come into my life and many things have gone out of my life. Recently I find myself wishing that I could share the things in my heart that God is revealing to me.
In the past I had several blogs that I read faithfully and in many ways I tried to imitate other blogs or define myself and my blog by what I thought would attract others. I spent way too much time trying to define my life by how it would look on a blog. It was very unhealthy for me as a wife, mother and woman. My husband, family and my spirit suffered greatly from my addiction to the internet, specifically blogs and Facebook. About two and a half years ago my counselor asked me to go internet-free for one month or more. It was like giving up drugs for me. I discovered just how much I relied on my internet places and people to fill the voids of what was lacking in my heart. I still struggle to balance my time on the internet and to keep it from interfering with the real life that is happening in my home on a daily basis. Maybe I will always struggle. Maybe I will overcome it. It's better, much better, than it was, but could be better still. One thing is for sure, I don't want to get things backwards again. I don't want my life defined by what I read or want to put on my blog. Rather, I want my blog to be defined by who I am and what the Lord has placed on my heart to share.
I took a mini-journey back through my blog today. And I began to pray about the direction the Lord would have me take this blog in the future. It may or may not have cute pictures and stories of my kids. It may or may not include my love of photography, music, art or kake decorating. It will most certainly contain my thoughts and my relationship with the Creator and his son, Jesus. It will most likely be an outlet for me to teach others how to love and follow Jesus. It may or may not be offensive to some and encouraging to others. It will most definitely be a work in progress, constantly changing and maturing as I am. I hope that it will at times be funny. I hope that it will at times be gut-wrenching and raw. I hope that it always is pleasing to the Lord. I hope that if anyone reads it, it will draw you and point you to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I hope that if you read my blog in the future that you will be patient and kind with me as I grow, admonish me gently if I become arrogant or proud, encourage me if I become discouraged, and grow with me as I begin a new era of blogging.
One last thing, if you want to see the cutest thing ever, visit the post I made on January 15, 2010.