Friday, February 11, 2011


For three days I have wrestled with raw emotion. A battle between my flesh and my faith. Anger, bitterness and rage against justice, mercy and grace. Man I've been all over the map. Moment to moment swinging from utter heartbreak to rage so strong I wanted to destroy anything I could get my hands on. I have had no appetite, though I've tried to make myself eat, but a bowl of cereal in the morning and a brownie in the evening hardly counts for anything! Seriously begging and pleading with God to give me more mercy and grace.

God is faithful. Everytime I have needed grace, He has provided. Everytime I have needed mercy, He has given it freely. Everytime I was about to be overwhelmed by the flood of the rawness of my emotions, He sent someone to encourage and lift me up. God is faithful.

This morning I turned the corner. God finally broke through to show me the truth of where my anger could take me. And how futile it was. Then He clearly showed me the path of mercy, love and compassion. He also revealed to me by prophetic word, his protection and tenderness.

There is much more battle to fight. But, my heart and soul are settled. I finally have peace. True. solid. peace. God and I, we have a plan. He gave me his eyes for just one second and I saw what I needed most to see.

It's all settled.