Ten short days.
Ten days left until my niece's due date. It could be any day. And then, it's time to say goodbye. A few weeks ago we were working on baby Mason's memorial scrapbook. She was 35 weeks pregnant at the time. And, it struck me, HARD, when she said, "Five weeks just isn't enough time." It's not enough time to say goodbye. It's never going to be enough time. There's no way you can actually be prepared to say goodbye to your baby. Soon the day will come. Too soon.
Our plan last year was to visit my husband's family this week to ring in the new year with them. I sent them off yesterday. I stayed home. I need to be here "if" Mason comes. I couldn't be 13 hours away. I will work on the album for Mason while they are gone, while I wait. If Mason comes, I'll be here. If not, I'll have time alone to work, to document and celebrate his very short life, to make his life real and meaningful.
My niece is young, but she has found such great faith in God these past 4 months. She constantly amazes me with her maturity and faith. God has chosen to give Mason to her for a purpose, and if nothing else, it has been to draw her and her fiance to Himself through Mason's life. That is enough. But it is SO hard. Hard to accept. Hard to understand. Hard to let go.
Time is short. Too short.