"Not Me!" Monday.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This was a fantasmic week for me. I was the perfect model of a Proverbs 31 wife and mother! And here's the list of things that did NOT happen at my house this week...

I, in fact, did not in a fit of pique get SO frustrated with myself over my weight and the horrible fit of a really cute (but old) button down dress that I screamed to(at) my husband, "I have absolutely NOTHING TO WEAR!" while I tore the dress off my body sending buttons flying around the room. I was not less than amused and completely embarrassed later in the week when my baby brought me one of the buttons he found somewhere on the floor. It was just like a scene in a really bad movie and I am SO GLAD that was not me!!!

I do not spend so much time on my computer during the day that my 3 year old asks me to see pictures of "Mck Nugget" and "Small Fry" and "those other guys". He also did not ask me to call him "Small Fry" this week, and to call his baby brother "Mck Nugget". When he looked questioningly at me and asked what we should call me, I did NOT say, "Mck Mama!" We did not list the other family members and assign them Mck names. That so did NOT happen at this house! That would make me a freakish bloggy stalker, which is so not me! (Note: truly, I was just playing along with my son who is facinated by the bright clothes on the cute children of my favorite blog and is curious about their names.)

I did not accomplish absolutely nothing this week, including practicing the piano. I would never spend the money to take lessons and then not practice even once in the last week. That would be wasteful and poor stewardship of both my money and my talent. I do not have huge hang-ups over my musical talent that I need to work through because over 20 years ago I allowed a 'friend' to completely undermine my self-confidence in my God-given talent and love for music. My biggest fear is not that I may find out that I do actually suck. Nope, not me!

My husband was not so distraught over my earlier button-flinging, dress-ripping, fat-loathing fit of pique that he spent most of our day alone on Saturday taking me shopping to remedy my wardrobe woes. I did not spend most of that time crying because it is truly so depressing for me to shop that I couldn't shut off the tears. I did not stand in my holey sweatshirt and 3 inch too short jeans and cry in front of the Nordstrom saleslady. I do not secretly dream that my friends will have the mercy to nominate me for the TLC show "What Not To Wear!" just so I could finally find someone to hold my hand while shopping and help me find clothes that actually fit! I do not hold myself to such a high moral standard that even thinking about fashion causes me guilt because it's so materialistic and worldly. And it totally did NOT feel wonderful to wear new clothes today and be COMPLIMENTED on how stylish I looked. That must've been a dream because that's so NOT ME!

I can't wait to read what didn't happen at your house this week. Please, feel free to leave a coment!