Friday, January 16, 2009

The Choice.

It finally hit me. I was talking to someone last night and I understood something that I had not thought of before. The Choice.

In August when my niece's doctors discovered that Mason had Trisomy 18 they encouraged her to terminate the pregnancy. I'm very "pro-life", so Amber's choice to continue her pregnancy made total sense to me, but I would also have understood had she made the choice to terminate. Many people did not understand her choice to continue the pregnancy. Some were downright rude about it. Some voiced there opinions to others, but not directly to Amber. They just didn't see why "she would put herself through that". Either way the outcome is the same, isn't it? Or is it?

Here's the thing I got: Had Amber chosen to end the pregnancy, she would have experienced the sadness of losing her baby. She would also have experienced guilt for ending a life. And she would have always wondered what the outcome would have been had she not chosen to terminate.

But, what's incredible to me is that she chose LIFE! She chose to carry a baby she knew would die. But she had four and a half months of feeling him move and kick. And when he was finally born, against all odds HE LIVED! He lived for four (nearly five) miraculous days! She got to do things she was told she'd never have the chance to do. To hold him alive, to kiss him, to feed him, to clothe him, to bathe him, to hold both her sons together and read them a bedtime story.

One of my brothers was one who didn't understand her decision. He thought she should have terminated the pregnancy, get through it, get on with life, and don't prolong the anguish. He held Mason shortly after he was born and returned to the waiting room crying. He said he was wrong, he hadn't understood, now he knew why she chose to keep the baby.

Are the outcomes the same. NO WAY! One choice would only have given her pain and sorrow. One choice gave her time, joy, wonder, love, fulfillment, blessing, and a miracle to ease the pain and sorrow that she also feels. Why make any other choice?


  1. What a gift you are to be a part of Amber and Brian's story. The choice she made to carry Mason for as long as she was able is a courageous decision. Now she has a story and not the added sorrow of a secret.

    I know your presence is so comforting to her and will continue to be in the months ahead. This is a long journey, but one I know you are committed to walking with her each step. We will continue to pray for your entire family. We will never be the same because Mason was a part of our lives too.

    Thank you for being brave enough to make the first phone call for Amber...I will never forget the compassion as well as the sorrow I heard in your voice. You have a heart that is so rare...a heart that is willing to put others ahead of yourself. Thank you Karina for all you have done.

    I look forward to talking with you again.

    Much love,

  2. You said it perfectly. God Bless your family during this time. I will be praying for you, and appreciate your sweet comment on my blog today. God Bless.